Time for Tea

I’ve recently stopped drinking coffee. It’s an experiment to see if that is what has been making my stomach unhappy.

But this is no happy experiment.

This summer I replaced my afternoon cup with green tea. I had been eating chocolate every day with my coffee and my pants were getting snug, so it was time. To curb the chocolate cravings, I stopped the coffee at the same time, hoping to delete the association. It worked. I even started to look forward to my daily cup of green tea.

But then my stomach started acting up. I tried eliminating other items from my diet, but nothing helped. Then it occurred to me that it could be coffee.

I love my morning coffee. I look forward to it every day, savour every drop. The thought of eliminating coffee from my morning ritual was disappointing, to say the least. But I thought if I replaced it with tea, I just might be able to do it.

I expected some adjustment, knew I’d get headaches, knew I’d miss that smell in the morning, that first sip that starts my day.

I did not expect the brain fog.

Lack of coffee made me clumsy and forgetful, sluggish and unproductive.

But slowly, slowly I am adjusting to a cup of tea each morning. My energy is beginning to return; my head is clearing up. Im even starting to enjoy it, a little.

It’s not coffee, but it’s a steaming cup of comfort nonetheless.

I hope you find comfort in your rituals, calm in your mornings, and clarity in change.


Today I am grateful for beautiful fall weather, getting stuff done, and caffeine in tea form.

Currently reading: Indelible, by Amelia Saunders.

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Easing Up

Two lanes cut into one, just before the busiest intersection in town. They are doing roadwork, and it seems to be taking forever.

As much as possible, I avoid the area. It’s preferable to drive an extra ten minutes around than to sit and crawl along with the backed-up traffic.

But the part that made my blood boil, that no amount of yoga or breath training could calm away, was watching while drivers raced past in the right lane and nosed their way in. I sat in my self-righteousness, seething at their ignorance, their arrogance. Getting angrier by the minute as they jumped ahead of the line.

Then I found out I was wrong.

We were supposed to use both lanes, supposed to follow along and then take turns merging into one lane. But I, like most of the drivers in this place, figured I should get into the left lane as early as possible to ensure my spot.

At first, I was indignant. How else could it be navigated, how else could the traffic actually move along?

But then I sat with it, with my wrongness. And something surprising happened: Instead of holding onto the anger, I let it go.

I still avoid the area when I can. I still get into the left lane as early as possible (after all, it’s what most drivers here are doing), but now, instead of riding the bumper ahead of me, closing the gap for anyone seemingly cutting the line, I let them in.

And I let go.

I hope you find some ease in life’s traffic jams, some right in the wrongs. I hope you let go.

Paradox

Now that I’m feeling like myself again, it seems like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

So many hobbies, so little time.

I want to read and knit and write and learn. I want to organize my desk and decorate for fall. I want to photograph and craft.

I’m better when I’m busy, but it’s easier being busy when I’m better.

When I was low, the hours felt long and empty. I was lonely, unsatisfied with my own company. I fell into the social media trap of comparing my life with the digital versions of others’ lives.

I tried to get busy, but nothing held my attention long enough or well enough to fill the emptiness.

But I persisted, and slowly, through yoga and meditation and many long walks on the beach, I began to heal. Through words spoken, written, and read, I found my way back to myself.

I once heard that you can’t sit around waiting for motivation to strike, you have to just begin and the motivation will come.

So I got busy, and I found my motivation to get busy again.


Currently reading: Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza (almost done!).

Today I’m grateful for crisp fall mornings, the changing colours, and fuzzy warm pjs.

At my Computer

Many writing articles advise getting away from your computer to write.

I even watched a movie recently (“I Capture the Castle” – which I loved, by the way) that suggested writing needed to take place away from the computer screen.

I do this, sometimes.  In journals, notebooks, scraps of paper or  corners of napkins.  But I also write at my computer, and I am enormously grateful for the ability to neatly wipe away words, to cut and paste without scissors or glue, and to save in multiple places so that I don’t lose my notes.

My computer also allows me to post this, here.

I can’t imagine not writing on it.

computer-time

The Randomness of Life (In a Journal)

You would think, that since I am so focused on moments and little details, that the idea for my journal would have come easier.

But it took me three months.

This beautiful custom journal that my husband had made for me for my fortieth birthday has waited for words for three months.

I made my first entry today, finally.  It occurred to me that instead of rewriting my poems and stories (I already have books for those), and instead of using it as a journal (have that, too), I would use it to describe random moments.

And, since the moments are random, so to will be the order.

For my first entry, I opened to the middle of the book and began to write.

journal-writing

(I even got brave and wrote in pen.)

Empty Pages

journal2

A pretty new journal, its crisp pages ready for words and ideas, is the promise of possibility.

It is a book that has yet to be written, a story that has yet to be shared.

There is no tension or drama; there is only hope.

List Maker

list

I love to make lists. Apparently, I always have, because I found this in that old binder, too.

It organizes my day, my life in tasks. Motivates me to get things done. Inspires me to create. It is a visual reminder of what I would like to do and what I have done.

Finding this childhood list brought a smile to my face.

I still make those little boxes to check off, sometimes. I just don’t colour them in.

Weekly Photography Challenge: Good Morning

keyboard

I just snapped this photo for this week’s photo challenge…

Every morning, before the kids are up, I sit at my computer with my coffee. It is my quiet way to start the day. I check the weather, my emails, and yes, Facebook. It is also when I write my blog, and work on other writing.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/photo-challenge-morning/

Where my Writing Lives

stories

This is where my stories and poems live.

I create them on the computer, but I keep them in a notebook. In black ink, I hand-write each one, then place the journal on my shelf with all my other books.

This way, I can’t lose them with a computer breakdown or a lost USB. They are organized and (sort of) published. This way, I make them a part of my book collection and I give them value.

I love to write. And I love books.

This way, I get both.